Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Time is most Valuable

Friend's Stables in Bathurst

Horse Paddocks in Bathurst

5:40am ~17 degrees 3km run

So one of my goals was to run 3 times per week consistently by the end of the year.

I'm not going for distances or anything fancy like that (although I am currently following a beginner half marathon training program) but I am trying to ease into it all.

The hip problems I had after having H boy are still niggling away at me and I noticed almost immediately after running last week that the tightness through my hips was right back to where it was before I started doing Yoga. It is restricting and painful - so I skipped my third run last week and focused on recovery. This is all a slow rebuilding process.

This is all combined with the baby who STILL doesn't sleep through the night. Baby B has woken every 2 - 3 hours nightly since birth. This - as you can imagine - is wearing a little thin.
I am also going back to work in about 6 weeks time and due to some unforeseen circumstances this is likely to be more days per week than I was working when I went back after having H boy.

I am very nervous about this - and quite stressed- so I am trying to take it all one day at a time right now and arm myself with lots of planning strategies and positivity.

post signature

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Starting Over

A view from the running track at  Stromlo Forest Park
 7:30 pm Tuesday Evening. 32 Degrees. I was out running.

Did I feel fit - Not at all. In fact I feel the most unfit that I can ever remember feeling. As I thought about this I began to beat myself up a little. Then I stopped. I congratulated myself for even getting out there. I reminded myself that I am starting a fresh and it is as if I have never been a runner before.
I reminded myself that in six months time I will be running freely without huffing and puffing around the circuit. This is just the beginning.

post signature

Time for Resurrection

Perhaps it is the new year factor, perhaps it is just the fact that I keep having all these thoughts that pop into my head that I think to myself I SO want to blog that...but I think this blog is in need of some resurrection!

I spent some time thinking about 2011 recently (funny that being that it was the end of the year and all) - now I know that I just had a baby and all that  BUT I feel as though I had absolutely no goals and nothing accomplished aside from the said baby in the past year.

It has been a difficult year - getting the hang of having a 2 year old as well as a baby in the house was a mighty feat and one that I still don't really feel as though I have mastered. Hubby has also been ill on and off throughout the year which has meant forgoing  a lot of me time.

I realised during this retrospective that the me time is what I have been missing. I go to Yoga on a Thursday night for 2 hours - that's it. Everything else is given to others - whether it is looking after the house, cooking, entertaining, nursing or volunteering - I don't do much for myself that isn't rushed as though I have an invisible deadline. Even when I go out on my own to get something at the shops it is a rushed guilt laden trip that sees me phoning to check that all is well at least once during the outing.

I get angry sometimes at the selflessness that is involved in being a mother. Very angry. I seethe quietly and have recently started to find myself becoming resentful of the ongoing thanklessness of it all. I dream about escaping to maritius or Figi - alone.

So in lieu of all this I have decided to set myself some goals for review at the end of 2012. I'll talk about these in future posts. But they involve slow steady progress towards being able to sit down at the end of the year and feel proud of what I have accomplished. They involve giving myself some time for me sans guilt.
They involve a yoga retreat - alone.
They involve running.
They involve returning my to my normal vital self.
I look forward to meeting her again!

post signature

Monday, August 1, 2011

Lazy Sundays are meant for Family...

It is only since having children that I understand the value of a Lazy Sunday and enjoying the slowness of it all.

Yesterday we set the H boy up with ABC 4 Kids videos and hubby and I sat in the lounge reading and drinking tea while the baby slept. All I can say is Bliss!

After that we went to the markets and H boy expended energy and yelled  played while I got some bread from the beautiful french patisserie. We looked at the fish in the pet shop and I stifled the urge to buy H boy a Siamese fighting fish. I get this urge every time we go into a pet store. As hubby pointed out - like we really need one more thing to care for right now....he is right!

It is just so nice to spend time with family on a Sunday. We often visit H boy's great aunt and uncle and it is so nice to sit around the table and just banter and catch up on what everyone has been up to.

In the afternoon we go for a family walk up a hill in a local reserve. It is so quiet and peaceful at the top - it feels like you are a million miles away - not just 5 minutes from home.

Love. Love. Sundays.
post signature

Monday, July 18, 2011

Destined to hate school holidays forever...

It seems as though my life is going through the 7 stages of school holidays - just a theory I have come up with. It goes as follows:

Stage 1 School Days - You count down to the school holidays and can't wait - they are great!

Stage 2 - Uni Days - School holidays mean uni holidays and that means extra work which means extra cash - Yay!

Stage 3 - Working days (pre-children) - School holidays mean no traffic on the roads and a trip that would normally take 45 mins takes around 15. Downside - all the people at work with kids get preference for holidays at this time - but who would want to take holidays on school holidays right?

Stage 4 - The Toddler years - What the? All toddler related activities come to a dead holt on school holidays. How on earth am I going to entertain my 2 year old for the next two weeks!!!

Stage 5 - The school years when you are the parent
- how on earth are we going to do this - getting time off from work is impossible and everyday costs a fortune! Send them back to school!

Stage 6 - The grandparent years - OMG My children are dumping their kids on me now and stage 4 just repeats all over again!!!

So as far as I can tell - it doesn't get any better from here on in....

What brought all this on?

The insanity of Jimmy Giggle at Westfield this morning.

What was I thinking!!!!

(Apparently he is hot...who would have thunk it!)

post signature

Cooking from Scratch


We had a little lunch gathering for a few friends yesterday - not quite like the picture above - but hey I am dreaming of summer and being able to spend serious amounts of time outdoors!

We cooked up a  bit of an Indian feast including a couple of vegetarian curries (Eggplant and Chickpea as well as this Aloo Gobi ). We also made a Goat Madras - yes you read right - Goat.

Back in our pre children days we regularly went to a great Indian restaurant in Brisbane called A Night in India (High st, Toowong - I thoroughly recommend!). My husband and his friends regularly ordered a goat dish for the novelty factor - and really it is a novelty. It doesn't taste all that different to Lamb!
For the first time I went to an Specialty Spice store and bought a authentic Indian madras spice blend. If you have never been to one of these places they are quite an eye opener - all the things you can buy in bulk! Rice and Spices.... but I digress. I think that doing this made such a big difference to the flavour of the curry - it was perfect!  Add rice and poppadums - we were all very happy! If anyone is interested I improvised basing the curry on a combination of this Goat curry recipe and this one.

I found it interesting to hear one of our friends telling the other girl (Who I had only met once before briefly) that I make everything from scratch (she was referring to the pumpkin hummus that I made). Is it that strange to cook from scratch? Is that a reflection of the quick and easy society that we live in?
I cook most things from scratch for a number of reasons:

- so that I know what has gone into the food - no chemicals, additives or preservatives.
- so that my children see cooking and preparing food as a normal part of growing up and that we don't always just go to the shop when we want something.
- value for money!

So I'll leave you with the Eggplant and Chickpea curry recipe - but tell me - Do you prefer to make things from scratch???

Eggplant and Chickpea Curry

Serves 4 as a main

2 medium Eggplant
200g Green Beans
1 onion - diced
1 Tin chickpeas
1 tin Lentils

1.5 tbls Tamarind paste
2 Cups water
1 tbls yellow mustard seeds
2 tbls Garam marsala
200ml Coconut milk
Rogan Josh curry spice blend
2 tbls minced ginger
1 tblsp minced garlic

Chop eggplant into 3 - 4 cm cubes, spray with olive oil spray and cook in a 200 degree celcius (180 fan forced) oven for 20mins.
Place the onion, garlic and ginger in a pan with approx 2 tbls olive oil - cook gently until the onion starts to  brown. Add the mustard seeds and Garam Marsala and cook until fragrant (about 1 min). Add spice blend and mix through thoroughly. Add tamarind and water and stir through. Allow to cook down and reduce slightly. Add eggplant, lentils, chickpeas and beans and cook for around 10 minutes, stirring regularly. Add coconut milk in the last 5 minutes.

Serve with Basmati rice!

post signature

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Thoughts for the weekend...

A few years ago when I was seeing a psychologist to work though a few issues something that we worked on a little bit was seeing that the world was bigger than just me - in other words that everything I experienced in my life wasn't just all about me.
To recognize that when I interacted with other people that they had things going on in their life as well. For all I knew they could be going home each night and dealing with delinquent children, or sick parents or having relationship problems. I know from experience that it can be very difficult to switch off from these kinds of problems say in a work environment - and that it can be very easy to let yourself think that it is because of something you have done that another person is acting the way they are - when in fact you are probably the furtherest from their minds.

I subscribe to a daily email from Tiny Buddah and while I don't read it every day when I do it is always relevant to something and encourages me to have some degree of mindfulness. Today I opened the email to read this:

“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” -Miguel Ruiz
This was followed by a discussion of the very thin I am talking about above  - something that for me it is always good to remind myself of. If someone doesn't reply to an email straight away it doesn't necessarily mean you have offended them - it might just mean they are a  bit busy - or that the email went astray - as happened to me this week.

In other words - I have to remember to be kind to myself - as I think many of us do!
post signature